hakurenshi | Keep my crown, I'll have your sword (cowt week 4

Prompt: litigare e fare pace
Missione: M2
Parole: 1706

This is the last time Tsukasa allows this. At least it’s what he says to himself while looking at the complete chaos inside the Archery club dojo. It’s a total mess - again - and he really doesn’t need to ask whose fault it is.
There is no way any other member than Tsukinaga Leo would do something like that: Fushimi-senpai is too used to keep everything in order because of the Student Council and Tori-kun; Hasumi-buchou, on the other hand, is simply unthinkable. Who in their right mind would ever use the dojo, a sacred place for those who love archery, to let kitties play?
«Leader!» he exclaims while he stomps inside the space Leo has occupied: the Knights’ leader is there, totally relaxed while still playing with the cats on the floor, without a single concern in the world. Tsukasa knows he’s been behaving - more or less, considering Leo Tsukinaga’s standards at least - and he’s been disappearing less than before. Narukami-senpai even implied that “Ou-sama is behaving so that Tsukasa-chan’s worry will lessen” (to Tsukasa’s embarrassment, yeah) and Tsukasa truly believed in that. He almost thought Leader was finally starting to be the King he had always admired.
Instead, it’s as if a big, unstoppable storm has been there all the time, yet hidden in the clouds, in order to simply explode at the most unexpected occasion to bring chaos and despair to all of them. Or at least to him. No, he’s not being overdramatic.
«Leader could you please» he’s still trying to be polite «get up from there, clean the place and let the cats out of here? This is not a playground, Hasumi-buchou is going to—»
«Suo~» the third year calls for him as if Tsukasa just entered his field of vision (that must be what happened, it would not be surprising at all) «come here! Play with us!»
...He really wants sweets now.
«Leader» he tries again «we have a lot of work to do, and we need you to be in the practice room with us. There is a small amount of it we can do without you there—»
«Of course, of course! Do you want a new song, Suo? You should have asked earlier! I can give you tons of new songs, I’m a genius after all, am I not? I can feel inspired already!»
«Leader» he tries to stop him because, seriously, they don’t need new songs, he just wrote the last one. They need to practice that melody and the dance and «we don’t need it, we have—»
«Eh. That’s not a very nice thing to say to me. I’m a delicate soul, Suo, what if I suddenly feel unwanted and my inspiration dies and then I fall in despair and can’t write anymore?! What can I do if even one of my loyal Knights is fed up with my music?!»
«I didn’t mean it like that!» Tsukasa panics, because he knows that if Leo goes on rampage there will be no end to the nonsense. «What I wanted to say is that we already have a song, the last one you wrote for this live, and we need to practice so please, can you come back to the practice room with me and—»
«Mmmmh» has the miracle happened? Did Tsukasa succeed? «Okay! Let’s sunbathe a bit more first, I can’t leave the small furballs alone.»
Tsukasa looks at him - Leo playing with small cats would be cute if the situation were different - and feels his patience slip away, fall at the deepest bottom of whatever contains it and doesn’t know what to do to gain it back before it’s too late. No matter how rationally he will think about how this is just the stress, and the graduation coming closer and closer for Sena-senpai and Leader, which means they have less time to be together as the Knights Tsukasa is so proud of.
He is a kid. He can’t be mature all the time. Third years should be mature, should reprimand him about being late or not showing up at practice to play with some stupid—
«Fine!» he shouts «Do whatever you want, Leader. Play with the cats, sleep here, sunbathe, don’t show again at the practice room, go at your stupid graduation without performing with all of us! I don’t care! Anymore!»
«Suo…?»
Why is it that Leo understands how much he is serious about something only when he makes him furious? Why is the Leader always like this?
«I don’t care!» he repeats, loud and clear before going away.

He feels awful. He still goes to practices, but it’s a total mess considering how he can’t cooperate at all with Leo and how angry he is when he sees him - Leader never skips a practice and tries to talk to him, but apart from some advices about this and that, Tsukasa makes sure to not speak at all. He mainly asks to Sena-senpai, if anything, and lets Ritsu-senpai poke at his cheek because he feels guilty for the tension the whole practice room is full of.
Once, before entering, he even eavesdrops them talk with Leo about the situation; Arashi’s voice is pretty clear when he says «Ou-sama must have done something again, right? Tsukasa-chan is the saddest of us all, knowing that you and Izumi-chan are going to graduate soon. Ou-sama should be more considerate of our little prince.»
Leo answers with something about how he didn’t mean to fight and how he didn’t understand why they fought - Tsukasa doesn’t want to know if it’s true, because it would mean that Leader is way too dense for his own (and Tsukasa’s) good.
Instead, Tsukasa feels guilty. He’s never been good at apologise while being sad and nostalgic and having so much to say and only a few words to phrase it.
Sometimes he envies how Leader can play with his words, always.

He keeps practicing, more than anyone else, because he feels like it’s the only way to apologise and show how resolute he is. Sena-senpai is the last one to leave, telling him «Don’t overwork yourself, Kasa-kun. It would be a pain, both for the practice and other matters.» where “other matters” probably means “Naru-kun will kill me if he knows I let you stay until you dropped dead”.
When he finally stops and lets himself slide against the wall and then to the floor, breathing in and out, outside the sun is setting already and the practice room feels so hot despite the season that it’s almost unbearable. Tsukasa closes his eyes and tries to fix his breath, memorise the choreography in his mind now that his body is too tired for anything. He notices the door being opened, but he hasn’t the strength for this.
At least, until he feels a cool towel covering his eyes and forehead; it’s a very pleasant feeling and he hums, appreciating the thought. He freezes up when Leader’s voice reaches him, though.
«You know, Suo» Leo speaks softly, in such a different way from his usual, annoyingly cheerful voice «when I saw the new Knights I was envious. I thought “so they kept doing stuff while I was away. So I wasn’t really necessary here” and at the same time I was sad, because I wanted to be part of it even if I didn’t deserve it after going away like that.»
It’s not the first time Tsukasa gets to know Leo’s feelings, but it’s weird to hear them like this, like they are very good friends who always speak about each other’s secrets and feelings. They don’t. They barely understand, sometimes.
«And you made me really upset: such a brat who came here, joined my unit without my permission, kept babbling about how Knights were cool and strong. Like I didn’t know it already! They are my Knights! What could you, a newbie who didn’t know anything, understand about us? So I thought “maybe if I show him how things are, and how weak he and his values are in this world, he will go away”.» he admits, and the most absurd thing of all this is that Tsukasa can’t hear any sign of shame, like this way of thinking is perfectly licit.
«But you didn’t.» Leo says, taking away his towel and looking at him in the eyes. Tsukasa wasn’t ready, so he bets his expression must be a really stupid one right now. Leo, though, has a warm smile on his lips, a tender look Tsukasa has seen only when he was talking about Knights sincerely, without the nonsense that always accompanies him.
«You know. You understand. I think it’s amazing and unbelievable how you could do all this for every single one of us. It’s not that I’m not sad about graduating and not being part of the Knights anymore.» he admits, a small chuckle that sounds really weak and nostalgic, somehow «But a King knows when he’s leaving his people to a really good successor. I know you will do your best and let the Knights I love be the best unit for a long time.» he assures, a hand on Tsukasa’s head, fingers through his hair.
It’s such an intimate gesture - that Leo has never done to him - that Tsukasa feels even warmer but hopes that it will not show on his face, not right now.
«Anyway» Leader’s voice reaches him once again, his expression now thoughtful «the cats are cute. You should play with them, Suo, and! Stop eating snacks, I saw you! Sena will scold you again, you know?» he teases him, and Tsukasa doesn’t like how everyone points out when he eats too many sweets - seriously, he doesn’t gain weight, the sugar is burnt by his stress, okay? - yet he can’t help but chuckles a bit, and then pouts.
That’s when Leo kisses his pout, out of nowhere.
«Whahahaha!» he starts laughing and rolling on the floor «Suo, you are as red as your hair! I can feel the inspiration for the next song! It will be about a tomato, I need to write it down before it passes!»
He hates him so much.