Flowers of the night

Prompt: “012. Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most. Burning edges and scars and stars. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.”
Missione: M7 (week 7)
Parole: 8038
Rating: explicit
Warnings: character death, sex, slash

To think he would fall for such a simple, obvious trap. It should have been so clear to him— people needing help, multiple enemies that shouldn’t be so hard to deal with even without him joining the fight and other small yet predictable details he should have not only noticed but taken care of. But the annoying request from the Knights of Favonious kept echoing in his mind (there are many innocent people involved, Jean said) and he got unusually careless. He should have eliminated the one that smelled like Fatui before it was too late. Instead, he prioritized those who were obviously blackmailed by the Fatui and this is what he got: a delusion with an awfully annoying power, judging from what the Fatui has been blabbering for a while now.

His body feels still, the taste of earth and grass in his mouth since the moment he fell on the ground minutes ago. Diluc tries to move at least his hand but doesn’t manage to; despite his Vision being active and fire still gathered around his sword, that’s nothing more he can do. What doesn’t sit well with him is that the Fatui isn’t giving him the final blow. He’s clearly waiting for something, but what? For his delusion to kill him by itself?

An unpleasant smile curves the lips of the Fatui as he bends his knees and gets closer to him. Diluc feels his hand pulling his hair a bit to lift his face from the ground and wishes his gaze could kill. 

“To think it could be so easy to get rid of you.” he says, blatantly amused. “I would like to tell you sweet dreams but I can’t wait to see you break down because of what you will see.” he adds, disgustingly satisfied by the mere thought of messing with his mind. Diluc stays silent as his consciousness slips away.

*

When he opens his eyes, the only thing he’s sure of is that this is not the area where he was when he lost his senses. The room is spacious, the bed he was put on soft and warm, the blankets clean and a good scent of flowers that would be quite relaxing if Diluc was in a situation that would allow him to focus on it or try to recognise the flower. The first thing he makes sure of is, instead, the presence of at least one escape route which is easy to find once he turns on his left and notices the presence of a large window. He moves his hands, noticing that he’s not restrained by ropes or anything of the sort and that is very strange. Either his enemy is a complete fool or really inexperienced— to be honest, though, Fatui aren’t that stupid. But they are beyond logic and sanity sometimes, so who knows if this is just part of their plan.

Now, he can take a bit of his time to look around: the room has quite the expensive furniture and is clean in the way rooms are when someone keeps taking care of them thoroughly day after day. As a young master, it’s very easy for him to spot all the small things that give away the fact that there must be maids responsible for this. Diluc is sure that the Fatui have different people with wealthy backgrounds among them. The point is: which one is the master of this house and why the Fatui thought they would be enough to keep him there unrestrained— and, above all, where is he? Still close to Mondstadt or somewhere else far from it?

He hears the sound of steps coming close and instinctively looks for whatever could be used as a weapon; apparently, nobody was stupid enough to leave him unrestrained and with a weapon.

When the door opens, the one who stops at the threshold is a man around fifty years old; his clothes are the ones of a butler and the small, polite bow he offers easily confirms his identity. Diluc doesn’t know if he’s staying still because he doesn’t need to enter or if it’s because he felt that every single muscle of Diluc is ready to attack him if necessary.

“It’s good to find you awake and in good health, Master Diluc.” he offers, polite speech and all, treating him as a welcomed guest. Master Diluc? “The prince was very worried and expressed the wish of seeing you the moment you regained consciousness. Only if Master Diluc felt well enough to engage in a conversation over a meal. If you wish for it, the prince is ready to join you here instead of waiting for you at the dining table.” he carefully explains. Diluc can easily tell that this man has served his master for a long time and that he is good at his job. Despite what he might think about said prince to eat with him in this room, in fact, he doesn’t show it on his face at all. As if it wasn’t his place to judge, which is basic knowledge among those who serve in wealthy families.

Diluc is quite sure that an apparent freedom must not be mistaken for a real one; if he tried to escape the mansion, he would probably meet some resistance. With not a single clue about the servants’ skills and zero knowledge of this place, it wouldn’t be wise to blindly run away. Not to mention that the butler never closed the door, as if to dare Diluc to go past him. Since the only given choice is about eating in the room or somewhere else, better give an answer before the decision is made by someone that is not him.

“I will wait here.” he declares. The butler bows and leaves without a word, closing the door as he goes away. Diluc takes his time to carefully study his surroundings: every object, every space. On a chair a few meters from the bed someone put his jacket; his boots are there too. The main issue is, of course, his weapon. 

The door opens once again and the butler announces the prince. Of all the things Diluc could expect out of this meeting, facing Kaeya was not one of them.

For a moment, Diluc thinks that someone really good at disguises tried to impersonate Kaeya to confuse him, but would a master of disguise forget about an important detail like the eyepatch? Apart from that, he really looks like the Kaeya he knows— a bit too genuine, to be honest, which smells fishy. Diluc follows him with his gaze as Kaeya gets closer to his bed and moves another chair (leaving the one with his jacket where it is) to sit next to him. Once he’s comfortable enough he gives Diluc a smile— not a grin but a proper, relaxed smile.

“How are you feeling?” the prince asks, as he gestures to the butler to bring them something. Food, probably. The man simply excuses himself and leaves them alone. That is not what someone would usually do with a prisoner, especially if ‘Kaeya’ really is the prince of this mansion. “Diluc” Kaeya calls for him the moment they are alone. There’s more seriousness in his voice and eyes, but also worry. Feelings the usual Kaeya would never show, especially not so easily. “What happened? To find you unconscious outside of the gate, with unusual clothes compared to what you wear when you come to visit… I thought you were wounded.” he admits. He sounds so sincere that it almost creeps Diluc out. His relationship with Kaeya has many layers, most of them not easy to bring up or to explain. Some stay hidden because, otherwise, they would only be a hindrance. They understand each other so well and with such a minimum effort that it’s frustrating, to say the least. They don’t show weaknesses, they don’t admit they are worried about the other and they pretend (well, sometimes for Diluc is a very genuine feeling) to barely stand each other— and yet they both know that, in the worst-case scenario, they could entrust their lives to the other. 

But this 'Kaeya', an impostor that throws him off because of a behaviour he would never accept from the real one, that is something Diluc doesn't know how to approach. To him, it's pretty obvious that it's a fake one: if someone who was hired by who is behind this or someone who was blackmailed until he accepted to take part in this farce, Diluc doesn't know nor he's interested in knowing more about it. From his perspective, it's useless information. In the end, the important thing is that it's not a Kaeya that suddenly decided to try to rescue him while pretending to be someone else— not like he wouldn't be able to do so, but Diluc knows that it would be impossible to set a stage for something like this when he wasn't unconscious for more than a couple of hours maybe, at least judging from the light outside. The sun doesn't seem ready to set yet.

Still, how much is he supposed to go along with this? He's not exactly the best actor and spy work is not his forte; that’s Kaeya’s area of expertise, with his attitude and his natural ability to lie and omit. Should the delusion they used against him have erased some memories? Maybe they do expect Diluc to be confused and not remember their fight. The Fatui did mention the chance of 'break down' because of something he could 'see'.

"I don't remember." he answers and decides to do his best to not give it away that he didn't forget anything important. At least until he can endure it or until he finds out where his weapon is.

Kaeya (this is getting confusing but he decides to call him that for now) studies him, not really convinced by the unsatisfying reply he got. If this is him acting, Diluc has to admit he's good at it. Maybe almost as much as the original he grew up with. Probably whoever gathered the information for the Fatui didn't do a good job and only managed to get a clue about their official relationship, with no idea of their past. Better for him.

The prince, despite the fact that he clearly does not believe him, chooses to not ask further questions for now. Maybe it's also due to the fact that the butler brings them the food, a generous offer on a spacious tray he puts next to Kaeya. Diluc looks at it and can barely find some dishes from Mondstadt traditions which makes it harder to understand where they took him while he was unconscious. Or it could be a strategy to make him think he's far from home, more than how much he actually is. Anyway, he has no intention of touching even a single crumb of whatever Kaeya will try to offer him. The prince exchanges a few words with the butler, nothing that gives Diluc anything to work with: postponing a meeting Kaeya was apparently supposed to have in the late afternoon, to make sure that the bath is ready when Diluc feels like leaving the bed and wash the fatigue away. One thing that catches Diluc's attention is Kaeya telling the older man to prepare everything accordingly to Diluc's tastes. How are they supposed to know his tastes?

Once the servant is not in the room anymore and they are granted some privacy by the closed door, Kaeya takes one of the plates and gives it to him. There is a long moment of silence before Diluc accepts to put it on his lap, despite the intention of not eating it. Kaeya takes his dish and a first bite of the tender meat. It is not something fancy, as if someone made sure that the food would not upset his stomach while still taking into consideration how fond he is of meat. Not that it matters, since not even Kaeya eating the same thing is a reassurance— they could have planned which plate to put where so that the prince would know which one is safe and not poisoned.

He's sure that Kaeya noticed that Diluc never moved the hand that holds the fork, but he doesn't comment on it and eats part of his dish. "What is the last thing you remember, then?" he asks instead. That is a smart move: whatever Diluc admits to be his last memory before waking up in that bed will surely tell him more than he wants to let him know. His eyes search for a knife, but the tray has nothing of that sort, with the meat already being perfectly cut. All in all, he will have to use the fork if it comes to it.

"Why do you insist so much about it?" he asks back. The confusion in Kaeya's eyes is immediate; Diluc thinks he spotted also a shade of irritation but he's not a hundred per cent sure.

"What does it mean 'why'?" Kaeya inquires "My dearest friend was found in front of the gates of my mansion, unconscious, possibly wounded and with no aggressor in sight. Should I keep giving you obvious reasons to hope that you will finally tell me something or have decided to have secrets no matter what I say?"

Diluc doesn't know what puts him off more: if the fact that this person is so good at acting or that his act is so full of inconsistencies— because there is no way that whoever gave him the role told him such a piece of wrong information as him and Kaeya confessing to each other eternal friendship and affection as the best of friends. Something is definitely wrong, as if looking at a mirror that doesn't reflect the image of who stands in front of it but what the present could have been if the situation and the reality were both different. Very different. Is this what could have been of him and Kaeya if only his father didn't die because of the delusion that was given to him? If Diluc hadn't left Mondstadt only to come back years after that, too changed to be able to still be the same as the past?

This is getting too distracting. Whatever their goal is, Diluc is not going to fall for it.

"Don't you have secrets too?" he questions him, a small sarcastic smile bending his lips because no matter which version of Kaeya is put in front of him. It doesn't even has to be Kaeya. There is not a single soul in the whole world who doesn't have at least one secret they would never share with anyone. He's not even sorry when he notices a strange light in Kaeya's eyes.

"Fine." Kaeya concedes as he takes another bite of meat "I'll leave you to your secrets. After all, it is still my duty to investigate what happens around my mansion and to those I want to protect." "I don't need nor want your protection." Diluc hisses at him. That's when Kaeya gives him a sly smile "You are very unlucky, then. Since I'm the prince and what you 'want' is not really relevant here." Kaeya explains as a matter of fact and Diluc decides that this last sentence is the first thing that could convince him of the identity of the man in front of him. This is exactly how the Kaeya he knows manages to irritate him with a single sentence— that arrogance of his, not to mention that bad habit of thinking that Diluc needs his protection only because they grew up together during their childhood (only because Kaeya was there when Diluc was at his worst).

*

No matter how many times 'Kaeya' looked at him, Diluc didn't take a single bite of food until Kaeya gave up and told the butler he could just go and take the tray with him. It didn't take much time for him to leave the room so that Diluc could rest. As if he could just lay there and sleep when he still hadn't figured out most of the situation. At least the prince did tell him that he could go around the mansion as he wanted and that, whatever the need, he could just ask one of the servants; also, "I made them prepare a bath for you, so you should just take advantage of my hospitality and enjoy it. You might be kind of my favourite person, but you still stink of wet grass and your hair is a mess of tangles and mud." as Kaeya was so nice to tell him before closing the door behind himself.

The idea of quietly relaxing in a bath was not the most appealing but he did it nonetheless because it was a fact that he needed one and because it was the perfect excuse to go around the mansion and get some information about the place. In the end, there wasn't much he discovered anyway. Not much that can be of help if not a couple of escape routes more than the only one he had while staying in the bedroom. Still no clue of an armoury or anything like that, even if he knows enough of mansion and wealthy families to try and make a guess if it comes to it. Even if his weapon is not kept in the armoury, he can at least find something to fight with.

Once back to the room, Kaeya nor the butler show up again before dinner. Diluc doesn't eat much if not a bit of the food that was prepared in front of him or at least that would be too troublesome to poison. Not much but still better than nothing. Sleeping soundly has always been out of the question, but he makes sure to keep the fork without being noticed just in case. Well, his Vision will work better than a stupid piece of cutlery but why not having that too.

He doesn't exactly fall asleep but, at some point, he has the feeling that someone is close to his bed— he instinctively grabs the improvised weapon ready to stab whoever it is, until he feels a hand moving a lock of unruled hair away from his face. The touch is one of a person used to be very discreet and to move without being noticed much from the other.

"You really are impossible." Kaeya's voice whispers, a vague amusement right there. The hand never touches him again and Diluc doesn't relax his body until he hears those feather-like steps reaching the door and a vague, almost indiscernible sound that tells him he's alone in the bedroom.

Why does an impostor feels like having such an intimate moment with him is beyond Diluc's comprehension. Not that he's going to focus on it, anyway. He couldn't care less of his enemy's thoughts.

*

What wakes him up is the familiar smell of burned wood. As he regains his consciousness he hears distant screams and he feels something hot and viscous against his skin. Diluc slowly opens his eyes and manages to focus his attention on his sleeve once he feels someone pulling at it.

The first thing his brain registers is the pool of blood under him, but the absence of any kind of pain suggests him that he's not wounded anywhere unless he stopped feeling pain altogether. The second thing he notices is a weight against his body— another body and it takes him no more than a few seconds to realize it's Kaeya. The supposed prince is smiling at him, tired and weak like Diluc has never seen him. For a brief moment, a rush of feelings makes him dizzy, at least before he remembers that this is not really Kaeya but an impostor, an enemy.

A hand touches his cheek like he wants to give him a last, small proof of an affection that Diluc can't really understand nor does expect from a stranger.

"Who would have thought" 'Kaeya' speaks, almost breathless "that you would have been the death of me." he murmurs, so soft that Diluc isn't even sure he heard him correctly. Yet, that's when he notices that the hand that is not supporting Kaeya's body is still holding the hilt of his sword and the blade is basically piercing the other's torso. No wonder blood is spilling so quickly.

"Diluc" he calls him and Diluc lowers his gaze, ready to not feel anything because why should he— but the expression he finds on the other's face is not a lie. It's the only expression the real Kaeya would show if there was a single moment of truth in a sea of lies. "You have to live no matter what. Promise me."

An abrupt impulse to vomit catches him off guard.

Kaeya (is he the real one? An act? A lie? A delusion?) dies in his arms.

*

He wakes up and sits quickly, as if an electric shock wave went through his spine so violently that he ended up almost breathless. His chest rises and falls, agitated like he saw the worst possible nightmare— and maybe it is exactly what happened. Diluc lowers his gaze and looks at his hands, expecting them to be covered in blood. They are perfectly clean though and the smell of burnt wood is not there anymore. He is back in a room he does not recognize: it’s not the one where he woke up before but it’s not his usual room either. The temperature is warm, enough for him to not notice that he’s shirtless; as he looks down, Diluc sees that the blanket is covering his lower half but he can feel that he is not completely naked. His clothes, though, are nowhere to be seen.

Next to him, some movements catch his attention. At the corner of his eye, another person is sitting up— all it takes Diluc to recognise that body is the colour of the skin and, above all, the contrast made by all those scars. Light traces of fights Diluc took part in moreover than not, and some unknown ones he knows the story of nonetheless. Before that person speaks and his voice reaches him, Diluc already knows that Kaeya is the one next to him.

“You okay?” Kaeya asks, voice low and smooth. Diluc looks at him, expecting the absence of the eyepatch, but it’s there. The rush of relief he suddenly feels is irritating— why should he feel relieved that the one in the bed next to him is not the impostor he apparently killed? Also, they are way past the age for sharing a bed and, for sure, their relationship doesn’t include it. This is starting to get irritating.

“Hm.” It’s the only answer he offers. Kaeya doesn’t seem surprised at all by the lack of explanation; if anything, he looks so used to it that Diluc can see the small smile curving his lips, like this is the most amusing thing he ever heard. At least this Kaeya is very real or as irritating and annoying as the real one. Diluc hears the sound of sheets rustling and he sees Kaeya adjusting on his left. Diluc is about to stand up, leave the bed and look for his clothes when a hand slipping over his hip and hugging his waist makes him go stiff in a split second. He’s about to elbow the idiot behind him when he feels his body surrender (betray him) to the touch of fingers against his stomach as if it recognizes that intimate atmosphere more than Diluc’s brain can.

At this point, Diluc can’t say what is real and what is not. He got that there is a very high chance that this is all because of Fatui's delusion and that it is probably messing with his mind. As much as the previous Kaeya was not the real one, this too must be a fake that is part of a completely different reality from the actual everyday life Diluc recognizes as his real world. If the prince was a sort of ‘way too friendly’ version of Kaeya, one that could have been real and somehow believable if their past was different or if the decisions they made were, this Kaeya that caresses his body as if it’s the most natural thing to do… what about him? What happens if Diluc behaves in a way that doesn’t go along with whatever the Fatui expects of him?

That’s laughable. Not that he has ever been good at living up to the expectations others have, anyway.

“Whenever you have a nightmare you end up going back at being a living wall that is impossible to break through.” Kaeya whispers, his voice still very low and very close to Diluc’s ear. What catches Diluc’s attention though is the words chosen by the other. Something about them feels oddly familiar— something Kaeya would tell him. No, better said: something only Kaeya could tell him, knowing what Diluc went through in the past, which choices he made, what they meant and what the consequences have been until now. The prince had no eyepatch, was too genuine, treated him like a friend he was not. But this Kaeya… there are small quirks that make Diluc uncomfortable because they make the other feel so real. Even though Kaeya never touched him like that— he didn’t, right? 

A voice in his head seems to enjoy that small insecurity he feels, deep inside: aren’t you forgetting something? Are you sure, Diluc?

*

It's not like his consciousness goes back and forth. It's more like his mind is a bit fuzzy, but Diluc is completely aware of what is happening, of every single gesture. Yet the annoying voice he heard in his mind seems to have awakened something inside him— there is what he perceives as himself, that is not used to whatever Kaeya is doing and that no matter how many times he thought there was some sort of strange tension between them, he never made a single effort to clarify that this could be. Because it was easier to stay ignorant and maintain the status quo. But there is also what he perceives as a sort of minor part of himself, like something that has been hidden but not completely annihilated until now. And whatever it is, for whatever reason it is awakening now, Diluc doesn't feel like fighting it. As if he does want to feel Kaeya's hands on him and his body so close to his own.

Kaeya's hand grabs his legs and moves it a bit in order to put his face closer to Diluc's inner thigh; he can feel the other's lock of hair slightly tickling his skin and fingers brushing in a feather-like touch that makes Diluc shiver in anticipation. He feels his body vaguely arch as his hips move against his will when Kaeya bites his inner thigh after placing kisses in that same spot. Diluc can't see anything but Kaeya's hair and his hands moving along Diluc's legs but that's already more than his brain can process. Pleasure bottles up and his body keeps reacting to it— Diluc moves his hands to grab Kaeya's hair, his mind focused on the thought of pulling it enough for the other to stop and leave him alone. Yet his fingers slip through those dark locks and yes, they vaguely pull them but the hand just pushes instead, not too much but it does it and that's enough for Diluc to feel betrayed by his... whatever it's making this mess in his head.

Kaeya, though, seems completely at ease, as if this is second nature to him. He doesn't even look at Diluc, he doesn't question what he's doing or what he wants (not that Diluc's gesture wasn't eloquent enough). He feels Kaeya's mouth leave another kiss and then it bites again before moving from there. Diluc almost expects Kaeya to stop right there but the other keeps leaving kisses along an imaginary path he must be following in his head too. From the inner thigh, he kisses close to the erection that it's starting to get painful, then he goes to Diluc's stomach ignoring the rest. From there, Kaeya's lips end up being everywhere: on his nipple, slightly nibbling at it; on his collarbone, then on his neck where he bites and sucks until he leaves what Diluc is sure will be a too noticeable hickey; on his jaw, a small chuckle escaping Kaeya's mouth. Then, Diluc finds himself looking at Kaeya in the eye, an unexpected contact that Diluc didn't want— especially because he still has the urge to kick him. And the unwanted, irrelevant, unacceptable need to kiss him.

The moment Diluc expects Kaeya to start making fun of him, the other just stares at him. Diluc frowns because that's one of the most annoying things Kaeya does. Above all, there's something different about it, some kind of tender feeling Diluc doesn't want to see, doesn't want to face. Especially when he's not able to behave as his usual.

Kaeya bends over him more and more until he can easily nibble at Diluc's ear and, seriously, Diluc has had enough. He puts his arm around the other's shoulders and pushes him down so that he can easily turn his head to the left and bite Kaeya's neck so hard that a whine leaves the other's mouth, giving Diluc at least a small satisfaction. When he feels Kaeya move Diluc lets him, loosening his hold. He doesn't have to wait long for Kaeya's gaze to be on him, to actually search for Diluc's.

"Someone is moody" he comments, an amused note in that soothing voice of his as his blue eye seems to want to capture something specific in Diluc's figure while he's there, under him. "or too excited." he makes fun of him. Diluc really wants to punch him in the face— yet he kisses him back the moment Kaeya lips are on his. Because his mind keeps getting foggy, enough to make him feel weaker when he thinks about rejecting him but not to the point of making him doubt about this being consensual. It is. And the worst part of this is that Diluc has always trusted his guts and what his instinct keeps telling him is that there is at least a tiny part of this that feels so incredibly right. His body wants Kaeya to kiss him, recognizes the way his tongue slips into his mouth after Diluc parts his lips, the way Kaeya sucks at his tongue to provoke him before kissing him even more passionately.

At some point it's like being in his body and, at the same time, not being the only one in there. Diluc feels his legs around Kaeya's waist and how his body actively searches for more friction between them. How their erections touch each other as Kaeya keeps kissing as if breathing anything but their respective oxygen is noting but inconceivable. Even the moans become something that his mind stops rejecting— instead, the first one Kaeya allows himself, directly into Diluc's mouth, makes him excited. He wants more.

"Diluc—" Kaeya calls for him to tell him something, but Diluc cuts him off with a small, provocative bite at Kaeya's lower lip. Words are not what he needs now.

*

It's like waking up from a long sleep, like he didn't do anything but sleep for days, months, years. Diluc doesn't remember the last time he caught a cold that made him stay in bed, unable to move without feeling sore whenever he moved, but he thinks that it must have been exactly like this. Every single one of his muscles screams as if it's burning, which would be funny to think of considering his Vision but he feels like this is not the right moment to laugh about a stupid pun he would never even phrase in his mind. The same mind that is still filled with images that make him feel ashamed and, at the same time, give off the impression of a very long dream— Kaeya's scars under his fingers, him thrusting and thrusting and— Diluc shakes his head and deeply regrets it when a stabbing pain hits him.

It's like having his head splitting into two.

Diluc slowly breathes in and opens his eyes. Only now he notices that he has been on his back since the beginning. The sky above him is reddish, full of smoke and for a few seconds he wonders if he's back to when he found himself with Kaeya's dying body in his arms, Diluc's sword piercing through the prince's limbs.

A couple of fingers brush against his arm and Diluc turns his head too fast. When the pain doesn't blur his view anymore, he realizes that Kaeya (the real one? At this point he doesn't know anymore) is making sure he's still alive. The knight's expression is tired, exhausted even. The one of a warrior who fought countless wars without even a second of rest. There's a cut on his cheek that must have bled before but it's not right now, and his face is dirty because of the smoke and the mud. Overall he doesn't look too hurt but Diluc has known him for too many years to not be able to see it— the emptiness in the only blue eye that he has not hidden.

"Don't die on me, Master Diluc." Kaeya tells him, the energy to mildly joke still there, apparently. Diluc breathes in and sits, then slowly stands up while refusing Kaeya's hand. When he becomes aware of their surrounding, he wishes he stayed where he was a moment ago: all around them, lifeless bodies lay on the ground. The worst thing is that they are all comrades Diluc easily recognises— Lisa and Jean, not too far from each other and from their position, Diluc can say that Jean must have tried to be the librarian's shield until the end. On a rock not too far, Sucrose would seem asleep if it wasn't for all the blood she lost. Barbara is crying over a body that is not easy to recognise but a red rose suggests that Noelle too must have—

Kaeya's hand grabs his arm and squeezes to catch his attention.

"Bennett is still fighting," he reports "Amber should have gone gliding to get some help. There's still hope if the Darknight Hero gives his assistance." he jokes again and Diluc frankly hates him and yet he understands that it's how Kaeya tries to not fall down. To not surrender. "You Knights of Favounius really know no shame when it comes to your incompetence." he replies as he takes his sword from the ground. It feels heavier than ever.

"How many of them?" he asks. From what he can see, they are not that outnumbered now but who knows considering how much they have already lost. Amber is getting help but from whom? Soldiers? There are no soldiers that can fight as fearlessly as Jean or be as strong as Noelle. Not in Mondstadt, not that he remembers. "Albedo" Kaeya replies "and the Honorary Knight that is supposed to be with him now." so two is the answer. Three, if they count Amber and a total of less than ten considering them, Bennett and the wolf boy who seems to be with him. It would be a miracle if Barbara could regain enough strength to heal them as they fight.

"Well," Kaeya says, sword at hand and back against Diluc's. Then when he notices Abyss mages approaching "neither you or me ever liked easy, simple fights, right?"

Diluc doesn't have to give his answer now. He can fight back to back with Kaeya, they know each other enough to do it without having to make sure the other is doing his best or the right move to not slow them down. They don't need to share information, to share thoughts on the battle, to agree on a strategy. They don't need to say their last words in case one of them doesn't make it— they never did, they never will. Diluc likes to think that they are different and that death does not scare them like it does with everyone else.

"Don't die on me, Kaeya."

*

Diluc has no idea how much time passed. To be honest, he's too tired to even think, so try to count how many hours the fight lasted is beyond his capabilities right now. The worst part is that every single drop of strength still in his body is being used to actually move without many results. He can feel that enemies are not so far from where they are, even if he thinks that not many of them can be considered able to fight considering how many died by his hands and Kaeya's.

Diluc moves his head but it takes up everything he has to do such a small movement that he immediately understands there is no way he will stand up again. The ground doesn't feel so bad under his back and it's the second time he finds himself in that position and that fingers reach for his arm— no, his wrist. It's such a light touch that for a moment he wonders if it's his mind playing games with him. It wouldn't be anything new since, at this point, he stopped trying to figure out if this is the real him in a real-world or whatever the Fatui's delusion has made up until now. He searches for Kaeya with his eyes and it's easy to find him there, lying next to him. He still has that annoying, tired smile on his lips but he looks terrible. Both of them do, Diluc is sure.

"You should stand up and go." Kaeya whispers and not because he doesn't want to be heard by enemies nearby, but because that's probably the best he can do with the ugly wound Diluc can see there on his torso. There is so much blood underneath Kaeya's body that Diluc doesn't even try to look for Barbara. Best case scenario, she is not there to try to heal him. Also, he always knew that the moment death decided to come for him, Diluc would have realized the right time to surrender.

This is the time. The fact he can't move most of his body, the cold feeling, the pain in every single inch of his arms and legs... nobody needs to tell him that everything that could be done, was done.

"Don't I deserve some rest?" he asks back, as if they can both keep pretending they are not dying.

Kaeya doesn't reply and Diluc, for once, would have preferred otherwise. Because without some stupid sentence he's left alone with his thoughts. If this is reality, should he really surrender like this? But if this is still an illusion where he's trapped no matter what he does... wouldn’t it be okay to rest for a little bit? He killed so many people that he lost count and knew, the moment he took a life for the first time, that from then on he had to be ready to be killed too. Because if there was something Diluc knew better than anything else, it was how grudge and revenge were able to influence people and their choices.

If he tries to think about when he was younger, he's pretty sure he wanted something entirely different from Kaeya dying next to him— when they were nothing but kids, Diluc wanted to be his friend, to make him happy. Because the Kaeya from that time was desperate, sad, hurt and above of all he was so alone. When did they stop holding each other's hand to feel less abandoned?

"You don't." Kaeya murmurs and Diluc knows that they are both conscious of what they are talking about and that they are simply disguising their deaths as going to sleep just to wake up the next morning and still be there in Mondstadt. Diluc never thought of himself as someone who would have had a lot of regrets on the verge of dying, yet all he can really think of is if this is the way we die and this is not an illusion, is this much all I could accomplish?

"I feel like I didn't accomplish a single thing." he admits, a whisper he's not even sure he wants to let be heard by the other because it's something that has the same taste of a defeat.

"You..." Kaeya sighs and that makes him cough— blood that dirties his face more and drips on the ground. "you really can't realise anything, not even what's in front of you, Master Diluc." "Stop that." he cuts him off and regrets it when the sudden breath makes him feel so much pain that it's like being pierced by a knife.

"You know" Kaeya keeps talking, low voice and another small touch of fingers against his wrist. "I don't think it's too bad. Dying next to you." "Are you going to use your last words for... something stupid like how honourable of a death this is?"

Another cough that was probably meant to sound like a small chuckle fills the air.

"Nothing of that sort." Kaeya assures him "But it's not bad, Diluc."

They don't say anything more, focusing only on breathing in and out, slowly and painfully. At some point, Kaeya manages to grab two of his fingers and Diluc prays, for the first time since his father's death, to be the first to die.

There's a limit to the deaths he can tolerate. He doesn't want to feel those fingers loosening their grip— he doesn't want to feel Kaeya dying.

*

"He's opening his eyes!" he hears a familiar voice "Paimon, call Jean and Lisa!"

Diluc somehow manages to get that it must be Aether but keeps his eyes closed for a few seconds more. Is this another illusion he's going to go through? Because he really doesn't think he can do it. Surprisingly, though, it's his body to suggest to him that this might be the reality: the same body that aches, but not as much as in the illusions and the pain is where it's always supposed to be— where he was hit and nowhere else.

He carefully opens his eyes and, as he thought, the first thing he sees is Aether's face and the worried look he has. Why the Honorary Knight always ends up giving Diluc this vibe of a younger brother that needs to be somehow protected by the ugliness of the world is beyond his comprehension. As a warrior, he knows that Aether probably saw many things that already made him understand how cruel the world can be, and yet there is that innocence that makes people forget it and care for him. Despite how he never mentioned it nor put it into words, Diluc understood the feeling the others felt since the first time they saw Aether— he might have studied him a bit more but, in the end, he got it.

The fact that Aether looks so worried, as if he's about to cry, and relieved at the same time it's the proof he's really is too kind for his own good. Diluc doesn't know how to tell him that this will only make him suffer more in the future.

"Diluc, how are you? Do you feel pain anywhere?" he asks, just before Jean and Lisa enter the room. Jean isn't able (does she actually try?) to hide how worried she must have been. Diluc decides to focus on Aether for now.

"Where's the Fatui?" "Kaeya defeated them and the other Knights rescued the people that were involved. I," Jean hesitates and he can easily see that she doesn't want to keep talking and ask him questions so early. It's obvious, though, that there's no much time to spare since the delusion that was used against him could be valuable information. "I would prefer to let you rest, but—" "I will tell you." Diluc cuts her off "About the delusion."

Because there is not a single soul in Mondstadt that hates and knows about delusions as much as him, nor someone who wants to make sure that what happened to his father won't stay unpunished. Something, though, is crawling under his skin like a poisonous snake.

"I would advise to let him rest for a while, before that." Lisa speaks, her hand on Jean's shoulder "We have a lot of witnesses to ask questions yet and this will take hours once you two will begin to analyse what happened. So give him some more time to rest." she tells her, before her green eyes are on Diluc "And give yourself time to recover. Whatever Fatui showed you, it took a huge toll on your mind. You might not feel any pain in your body, but that was far from a simple fight. And this cutie, here, will never stop worrying about you." she adds with a small, friendly wink to Aether.

Diluc has not much of a choice. After years, he knows better than contradict Lisa when it comes to situations like this one. So he nods and gives in, while he manages to stop himself from asking what about Kaeya?

Once both her and Jean leave, Aether is the only one who stays there, sitting on a chair next to his bed. Diluc can feel his gaze on him, the uneasiness due to not knowing what to do: probably Aether doesn't want to ask but wants to be of some help because that's his nature.

Diluc has no idea of how much time has passed when he feels Aether holding his hand. It's a gentle touch but, to him, is like something is suddenly crushing him— does the prince, who would have held his hand because he thought of him as a dear friend, curse him in his death? The Kaeya that held him, kissed him and caressed his body, did he love him like a lover would do? And what about the one that died with him?

All of them were illusions and yet, somewhere deep inside him, Diluc felt for a moment that they were all part of the same person, the same Kaeya he knows. That should be some sort of solace, maybe, but it makes him feel like throwing up.

If a single man can be his salvation as much as his curse, then how many times will Diluc have to kill him to save himself?